A Letter To You

Today I found myself in a bathroom stall crying my heart out. That's what I do when I get frustrated. And today the frustration was too much to bear. Maybe it's coz it's the new year and people tend to get sentimental or maybe I've just been holding it in for too long that I just have to let it out. Whatever the reason, I sat on that bowl with a tissue on hand and bawled my eyes out (silently of course).

After that brief episode, following a brief self-castigation, I was dying to storm out and scream at you to "Grow the hell up and get over it!" But of course I didn't. I wiped off those tears, walked back to my seat and pretended you don't exist. And that my friends is how I deal with frustrations -- cry and forget.

Since at some point I considered you as a friend, and in the spirit of the New Year, I thought before I start forgetting your existence I should write you a letter. I hope you never get to read this but here goes:

Hello Ex-Friend,

I hope this letter finds you in a better mood than you've been in these past few days. Despite my outward lack of attention to your mood swings I'd like you to know that I am sincere in my apology if I ever caused you any wrong doing. In my defense, I had no idea that my mindless teasing would bring you such pain enough to have you completely cut me off. I honestly thought our time spent together was enough for you to distinguish that my jokes weren't to be taken seriously and that I never meant any harm or malice to you or to people dear to you. Until now I still do not understand what it was in what I did that got you so pissed off, of course not that it would matter. Be as it may, I shall accept your complete indifference and promise that I shall strive to distance myself from you as much as our professional working relationship will allow. I wish there are no people like me in your immediate future but if there are, then I wish you are more reasonable with them.

Truly Befuddled,
Me